I AM A NEW CREATION!!

9/9/25

2 Corinthians 5:17

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation;  the old has passed away, and see,  the new has  come! ”

What’s crazy is I could have written this over 2 months ago yet here I am just now posting this cause I couldn’t find the words and didn’t feel led to put it up quite yet. And somehow I was able to see God even more through that because He worked so meticulously through this whole new season of baptisms and even learning what it means to me.

Almost 3 months ago I began my journey on the race not even ready for what God has for me in this season. I began with what I thought was an open heart and a new relationship with Christ – what some would call a baby Christian. Yet somehow I was nowhere near open to everything God has.

Now of you may be thinking “but she grew up in a christian household how could this be” well let’s begin….

Back around 7th grade I began going down this spiral of comparing my own walk with Jesus to those around me including my own sisters. When what I saw was a strong healthy connection between them and the Lord that I felt I could never achieve I felt I should just stop trying. I even began to see this “perfect” side of them that I knew I couldn’t do because I had already messed up so much in my life. And while I know God forgives I just never felt it would be the same and that I just didn’t deserve a relationship with my Heavenly Father. This spiral became worse and worse and eventually I had just pushed my relationship with the Lord aside fully. Everything in my life became more important than him… my grades, my friends, my sports, EVERYTHING. I kept going like this for a long time, going through the motions of life never really realizing how far away I was pushing God and yet how much I needed him at the same time.

During this time I still went on going to church and being surrounded by my Christian community but I never really bought in to all of it and never felt I needed to go to God or try to have a relationship with him. I just became numb to the feelings and emotions that came from God  instead going to the world to find answers which continued to numb me even more.

Beginning around the middle of my junior year of high school by brain became so foggy that I could never really remember or even comprehend what I was learning and even some days felt like I was never really there. I started to fail assignments and eventually even classes because I just couldn’t get my work done and eventually found no motivation to keep going and achieve. I got to a point where I knew I needed help and could no longer continue. But was it really worth it to look weak and ask for help? Because everything I have been taught (from the world) is that you can’t look weak and I don’t need help because I can just find a solution on my own. So did I ask for help?….

Yes I did because I eventually realized there was no realistic solution on my own.

Through this season God found me and began to flow back into my life slowly teaching me that I do really NEED him. He really kept showing me that he was all I needed and nothing else mattered. But here’s the thing I never fully stepped into what he was showing me. But I did begin to want that relationship with him again- it no longer felt like a forced friendship that would never work. As I began this season of walking with him my desires also began to slightly shift and I wanted more of him and knew that college was no longer an option so here I am now following the call on my life to serve the nations.

This past year I have had to learn to trust him in everything and no longer worry whether there was enough money or if I could really do this because I knew that he would bring me the strength and that he would provide.

So now back to where we started…

We were two weeks into the race and we were having our second revival night with baptisms and commissioning. At this point I had already decided I would want to get baptized at some point but I just didn’t NEED to get baptized now. I wasn’t even sure yet why I wanted to but in this moment of worship God showed me all of the redemption and restoration he has brought to me in this season of life and the healing of the relationship and now it was the time to signify that I was truly going all in for him. It was time to become fully immersed in him always learning to depend on who he says he is.

And again why did I need to wait to signify this? Why did I want to wait to start that relationship with him again?

Well God met me in that moment and I realized I didn’t want to wait so I decided I wanted to start right then and there… NOTHING else was going to hold me back because I was SO ready to begin again. To fall in love with him again, to become a child again, to learn to trust in him with everything I got.

I walked up to my leader and told her I was ready and I wanted to get baptized and from that moment on there was no turning  back.

The things being spoken over my life was that I would begin to have a heart for women – specifically older women – in this next season and that I would become so filled with an overwhelming amounts of joy and love. As I was being prayed over I just felt this sense of relief and joy fill my body – something I can’t even begin to explain. God was so clearly present and it was something I have NEVER felt in my life.

As I was being put into the water I could literally feel my old self dying away and no longer being there and my new self coming in (crazy experience huh?). I felt new and that’s because… I AM A NEW CREATION!!!!!!