Acts 4:20 — “For we are unable to stop speaking about what we have seen and heard.”
Wow… just wow.
Imagine being so in awe of who God is and what He has done that you literally cannot stop talking about it, even when you have been threatened, warned, and told by leaders to be quiet. Peter and John had just watched God heal a lame man, and when they were commanded to stop speaking in the name of Jesus, they simply could not do it. They had a choice: obey their leaders or keep speaking about what God had done. Even under threat, they kept speaking because the work of God in their lives was too real to silence.
Lord, I want that same boldness.
Boldness to keep sharing what You have done in my life.
Boldness even when I am unsure.
Boldness even when I am uncomfortable or opposed.
Because You are bigger, and You are so, so good to me.
My Time in Swazi
During my time in Swazi, the Lord was doing deep work in me. It was the most still and quiet I had been in a very long time, and in that stillness, I learned to listen. Truly listen. As someone who loves to be constantly moving, learning to be silent with God was hard, but it was life changing. If I could learn to hear Him in the quiet, then I could begin to find Him in the busyness too. Through that, I became dependent on Him in a new and powerful way.
I had so many “wow” moments that I wrote them down, praying I would someday get to share them, so here they are.
Early Days in Swazi: Awe and Gratitude
In those first weeks, I kept thinking, “God, how is this real?”
I never imagined I would end up here. Africa was not even on my bucket list. I thought maybe one day, far in the future, but definitely not now. Yet there I was, sitting in Swazi, serving people God loves beyond measure.
A week and a half in, it already felt like months. God was moving everywhere I looked. I kept having “pinch me” moments because it felt unreal, yet at the same time, it felt like exactly where I was meant to be.
To think that God called me to a place I never planned for and then exceeded every expectation I did not even know I had. Truly, wow.
The Last Days: Tears and Goodbyes
Time went by so quickly.
So many memories.
So much joy in small things.
And then suddenly it was our last day at the carepoint.
I honestly did not think I would cry. But when it came time to say goodbye, or really “see you later,” I cried so hard. I never expected to make such deep friendships overseas, but I did. God blessed me with friends from everywhere, including a place I never thought I would visit.
It was painful to leave, but also beautiful.
Because love always costs something.
And this time, the cost was tears.
A Lesson Through Rain
One of my sweetest memories is listening to the rain hitting the metal rooftops while listening for the Lord’s voice. I felt like He was speaking through the rain.
It had been raining nonstop, and I sensed two things in it. I felt a weeping for the distance that was coming and for the ending of a season. I also felt a worship, because rain in Scripture is often a sign of fruitfulness and blessing.
It felt as though God was grieving with us but also celebrating the fruit that would come out of this time. The chapter was ending, but not closing. So much is still growing.
The Familiar Stranger
As a team, we read The Familiar Stranger by Tyler Staton, an incredible book about the Holy Spirit. It helped me see Him as both deeply known and often overlooked, familiar yet mysterious. I came away with so many thoughts and quotes I loved, and I cannot wait to share them.
To start off the book a question was asked
- am I thirsty, suspicious or uninformed? And based on which one what do I need and want to get out of reading this book?
- I thought this was such a good question to start with because it allowed me to see where I am at with understanding who the Holy Spirit is and the role it has in my life while also wanting to learn more.
“It must break the ♥️ of Jesus that the very spirit He was so eager to give has become unknown, feared, and divisive”
Supernatural power in ordinary vessels: the most costly treasure in jars of clay!!
most often we have explain away our thoughts as a distractions to deflect instead of an invitation to investigate
not about qualifications but about scars
life with God – an unearned homecoming celebration that never ends
- imagine this picture and think about how sweet our God is
the church… can be in the way of God, but it never will cease to be also the way to God -Henri Nouwen
Simon
- seeking the control + thrill + power not the God behind it all
- trusting God as healer + guid allows the present spirit, rather than the past pain, to be the author of our stories
Nicodemus
- skeptical, not all in, didn’t believe the spirits presence in the Bible is available to us today
- to get in on it we must become childlike again, look and act foolish and take off the identity we have made for ourselves
- take the terrifying risk of experience
If the foundation of our lives is biblical truth then the shape of our lives should be prophetic
I’m not saying every thought you have is God’s voice. But I am saying that God’s voice can arrive in cooperation, not competition, with your imagination
Salvation is a life not just a rescue
Healing is not the kingdom, so it’s not where our ultimate hope lies. But it is a sign of the Kingdom so we seek it and ask for it now hungry for a taste of what’s to come.
- taste the batter becoming even more expectant of the cake that is to come
This time in Swazi has changed me in ways I can’t fully put into words. I have seen God move, felt His presence in the quiet, and experienced His love in the people around me. Though the chapter here has ended, the fruit of this season will continue to grow. I am leaving with a heart full of gratitude, friendships that will last, and a boldness to keep sharing what God has done in my life.
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